the tentative paper topic

the paper is the relationship between offred and her mother

The end of the handmaid's tale

I am really confused about the ending. Is Offred pregnant? Is Nick an Eye?  How is Offred’s daughter and her Luke? Does she love Nick more than the Commander? She knows something will happen to her. But she did nothing. She did not fire the house, suicide, or escape. She just waited things to happen. When the van comes, she does not know whether it comes to save her or to bring her to the death, but she has to go. She confesses that she would rather give in than die when she knew the death of the previous Ofglen. The end of the story is full of uncertain and abruptness.  The story is too wired, especially for the ending part. 

the Handmaid’s Tale (199-250)

I think the story is on its way to the end. The stories of most people already have an ending. Her mother might be send to the colonies.  After Moira escaping from the Red Center, she made her way to the center of town in Aunt Elizabeth’s clothes and went to the home of a Quaker couple involved in the resistance. She becomes a prostitute which really surprise Offred. Offred accepts the suggestion from Serena that tries with Nick to have a baby since her time is coming.  Offred and the commander go out to a hotel, which is not exciting for her. She still misses Luke and her daughter. She saw her daughter’s picture who has become a little girl.

the Handmaid’s Tale (151-195)

Till now, I know more about the whole story. How the country had been established. Woman lost their jobs and the privates. The country is controlled by men. And the country is full of pits or Eyes. She and Luke tried to escape, but they failed. Somebody betrayed them. Offred has more communication with the Commander. He tries his best to fulfill her demands. He gave her hand lotion, he explained the Latin for her, and he supplied the newspaper for her. She realizes that the Commander summons her to his office because he wants her life to be bearable: he feels guilty. Also, she knows that if their relationship was found by Serena, she might has the similar end as the last handmaid who hanged herself.

the Handmaid’s Tale (103-147)

In this part, the whole story becomes more interesting. Offred still keeps flashback to her daughter and her mother. Handmaid Hanine (ofwarren) is going to have a baby. Every handmaid is required to watch the process. And we also know how they will deal with the baby and the handmaid. Offred remembered that how Moira escaped from the Red Center. She also recalled her mother who appeared on a movie and is actually a feminist. The most important part will be the relationship between her and the commander. They met in his office and played scrabble. From the attitude she towards the commander, I can sense that she has good sense to him. I am looking forward to what will happen next.

The Handmaid’s Tale (50-99)

Now, the story is much more interesting and complicated. Offred always remembers some details about her family: Luke and she want to escape with a fake passport; she tries to go away with her daughter but caught at last; Luke and she rent a motel to have an affair when Luke is still in marriage. Also, I know more about her friend Moira who has spirit of rebellious. The other big progress of the plot is about the commander. He is always late for the ceremony in which he is supposed to have a sex with Offred. And he asks Offred to visit her office. Nick might like Offred or just want to have sex with her because he is just a guardian who has other functions in Gilead.

The Handmaid’s Tale (1-49)

I really like the fiction though it is a little bit difficult to understand till now. From chapter one, I know that Offred was educated by an organization. And in the other chapter, we recognize that What Aunt Lydia said had a deep influence on her. Offred is assigned to the Commander’s, and she always recalls her past life. One thing is really confused me. Obviously, Offred loves her husband and daughter and she should be try to keep loyalty, but when she meet two guardians, why she flirts with one of them. Is there any benefit to do it? Another confusion is about the Mistress Serena Joy. She is kind of a powerful woman (always deliver speeches). She could also knit very well. And also she envies Offred who is the Handmaid (could bear baby) of her husband. She was a lead soprano from growing souls Gospel Hour, which sounds that she is kind of warm hearted person. But now she is a spokesperson who makes a discipline to let the woman at home instead of helping woman out of control to gain truly freedom. I wonder why she changes a lot, and what actually change her.

Macbeth Acting

I am not good at acting. However, I really like this kind of study, and it helps me to have a better understanding of the play. Drama is easy to understand; since it always has something happened beyond the text. The writer could not tell everything in the text which will take so many acts and dialogues. They usually choose some important points to let us know some other things and to develop or promote the story to the climax. When we play it in the stage, we have to figure out what happen behind the stage and to understand their behavior.

  

My scenes (Act III Scene I and III) paraphrased

I am the second murder in both of the two acts. My lines are always very short. The first and the second murder get a command form Macbeth to kill Banquo and his son Fleance. And they accept with plesure. At the third act, there are three murders, and Macbeth hired another murder to help them. They killed Banquo but not Fleance who escapes.

Destiny and Choice

                                                                         Usually, people do not know their destiny. Therefore, when they face something need to be decided, they have to make their own minds, however, they do not know the results of the choices. In Macbeth, he already know his destiny which already been told by the three witches. However, he shows so different attitude towards them. When he wonders why he should kill the King, he followed the forecast of the witch that he would kill the King and become the king himself. However, when he realizes that his place will be taken by Banquo’s offspring, he refused to take it as his destiny and he fight with this forecast and try to murder them.  So, destiny is just an excuse for his behavior, the real reason for it is Macbeth’s characters.

Q: Do witches play a major role? (Cecily Vair)

A: Yes, I think so.  The presentation of witches is not only a clue for the whole story, but also could reveal the inner character of Macbeth.

Macbeth 2

I wonder why Shakespeare takes the advantage of three witches to foretell the fate of Macbeth. If the whole story eliminates all the parts of witches, I believe the story could also be feasible and reliable.  Then Macbeth could essentially know what a dark person he is instead of blame others including three witches and his wife for his operating the murdering of the King.  The presentation of witches is full of mysterious which absolutely decrease the reality of the story.  Why does Shakespeare prefer to use such a clue for the fate of Macbeth? I could not figure it our till now.

Macbeth

Lady Macbeth is a controversial figure. She is seen by some as a woman of strong will who is ambitious for herself and who is astute enough to recognize her husband's strengths and weaknesses, and ruthless enough to exploit them. They see her in her commitment to evil and in her realization that the acquisition of the Crown has not brought her the happiness she had expected, and finally, as one who breaks down under the strain. Others see her as a woman ambitious for her husband whom she loves. She recognizes the essential good in him, and feels that, without her, he will never win the Crown. She allies herself with the powers of darkness for his sake, but here inherent (congenital) femininity breaks down under the strain of the unnatural murder of Duncan and the alienation of her husband. She is seen as simple and realistic where Macbeth is complicated and imaginative. She can see what must be done.

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

It is the longest poem I ever read. And it is so hard to understand that I am really confused. The narrator of the poem is J. Alfred Prufrock. He tries to tell the readers his feeling when he goes to a party. It is in the evening, he passes through streets to make a visit. People there are talking about Michelangelo, which means they are in noble class. And I can sense he does not like this atmosphere.  He asks himself whether he has the courage to rebel and change the situation. But at last, I guess he does not make it. Throughout the whole poem, the narrator does not talk about his love story. However, I believe person like him, has no possible to purchase his true love. He mentioned the women are talking about Michelangelo twice. He really wants to grasp his own love, but woman here are so sophistic or fake. So I guess his love might be a tragic story.

Daddy

Daddy

After reading the poem, I think the narrator hate her Daddy and want to kill her daddy. But after read through it, I could sense the narrator still loves her Daddy. This poem is full of black atmosphere.  The narrator mentioned black several times.  “black shoe” ,”So black no sky could squeak through”,” You stand at the blackboard”, “Any less the black man who”, “A man in black with a Meinkampf look” , “The black telephone's off at the root”, “there's a stake in your fat black heart”. Also the poem is related with death. The narrator wants to kill her father. She wants to kill herself. She thinks her father is a German Nazi, and herself is a Jew. They seem naturally against with each other. But we could still sense the narrator loves this Daddy from some sentences. “ Every woman adores a Fascist”,  “And get back, back, back to you”. “ I thought even the bones would do”. “I made a model of you”.

Leda and the Swan

                                                  Leda and the Swan

               After reading the poem, I am really confused. I am not able to tell what the poem really represents. Then I Google it. The poem was written by William Butler Yeats, and it comes from a famous Greek mythology. Leda is a beautiful woman who is the wife of Tyndareus, the King of Sparta. Zerus falls in love with leda because of her beauty. Zeus came to Leda in the form of a swan, and he raped or seduced Leda. Leda laid two eggs from which the children hatched. One of the eggs bore Helen and Polydeuces whose father is Zeus, and the other one born Castor and Clytemnestra, children of her husband.  The famous Trojan War has its roots in Helen. Agamemnon, who is the capital of the Greek, was murdered by his wife and her lover when he returned from the battle field.

London

London

When I walk through every chartered street

I come to Thames River

I saw every passerby whose faces are weak and painful.

Every man cried and every infant feared.

The bans rule people’s spirit.  

The crying of chimney-sweeper was roaring in the black church

The blood of the soldiers was running down the palace walls.  

But the most horrible things I hear are the curse of the youthful whore

They aborted the baby, they got the sexual disease, and they could not have a normal married life.

The Chimney Sweeper

The Chimney Sweeper

When I was young, my Mom died

My father sold me to others

At that time, I could not say clearly “weep”

But I have to sweep the chimney

Tom’s hair is curled, and when it was shaved, he cried.

I said to Tom,” Do not worry. When your head is bare, the soot will not spoil your white hair.”

That night, Tom was quiet.

When he was sleep, he had a wired dream.

He saw that all of the sweepers were locked in black coffins.

Then, an angel came and freed all of the sweepers with a bright key.

They leap, laugh, run, and wash themselves in the shining river.

Then, they were naked and they left the bags behind.

They went up to the cloud and played games in the wind.

The angel told Tom that if he would be a good boy, the God will be your father and let you happy forever.

Then Tom waked up in the dark room.

They carried their bags and brushed to work.

Although it was cold morning, Tom felt happy and warm.

When people do well their own duties, they will not feel fear.

Harrison Bergeron

I like the story. The first thing I notice is that the story happened in 2081, but the author uses past tense in the whole story. I do not figure the reasons out. George and Hazel are the parents of Harrison Bergeron; however, they do not remember anything about this son. We know that Hazel does not have any handicapper on her body, then what happened to her? Does she a retarder, whose intellectual capacity remains undeveloped? If she was the standard, the controlled person, and the norm, then every people in the world would be like her, in order to be equal. That is absolutely ironic. I could sense that everyone in the world act like machine, and they have no differences, have no unique personalities and the talents have been suppressed. The most impressive part is the end of the story. Hazel cried after she watched the death of her own son, but she did not know why. The nature of people has totally lost.

the ones who walk away from Omelas

     After reading the article “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas”, I am really shocked by the description of the imprisoned child. Comparing to the beautiful picture of Omelas depicted in the first few paragraphs, the life of the feeble-minded child is so miserable. I even could not believe in it, and the initial description of Omelas seems a little bit ridiculous.

    The first ridiculous thing to me is that people of Omelas take the imprisoned child as sure, though some of them have misery hearts and feel sad and anger about the poor child’s life. The author said that it is the existence of the child that makes their life such beautiful and such happy. But I do not think that is the true ideas of the author, instead, I believe the author want to remind readers that this is not reasonable and the beautiful life is not true.   

    The second ridiculous thing of the child is that some people who go to see the child go away from Omelas. If they really feel sad or rage about the child, why do they just save the child instead of going away? And this induce the next important question which is where do these people go? If this story depicted about a real world, people are usually impossible just to go away without telling their parents.

    So I believe that the Omelas is not a real place and the author want to express her feeling or her ideas with the allegory images.

topic

the characters of Emily

Young Goodman Brown

The story is so interesting and full of symbolism, like the lottery. The name Goodman Brown tells us that he represents good men. His wife’s name s Faith which implies he lost his faith when he returned from the forest. And the forest might be the deep nature of human. When he traveled in the forest, he struggled with the evil which might be his own mind. He tried to be a good man, he tried to run away from the evil, but he failed.  At last, he lost his belief and the trust in God. Also, Goodman could be all human. Human always question their nature, good or evil?

the lottery

The lottery

This fiction is full of symbolic images, such as their names. The lottery was conducted by Mr. Summers. Summer is also the season they performed this activity. His postmaster is Mr. Graves. Grave means tomb which symbolizes the results of the lottery is death, and the final place to go will be the grave. The name Delacroix, which means cross, is always be mispronounced “Dellacroy”. I guess this detail implies the folk of the village have already forgotten the Christian faiths. Black wood box also stands for a coffin, relating with death.

The Yellow Wallpaper

The Yellow Wallpaper

        After finishing reading the fiction, my mood was really bad not just because the weird story, but for someone important in my life. I know, the woman (the narrator) has severe depression like my dear friend.

About depression (I found this information on line)

        Depression is a mood disorder that causes people to feel sad, hopeless, or fear for an extended period of time. Depression can cause people to become incapable of communicating, unable to do routine activities, or suicide. Common symptoms include: depressed mood; inability to enjoy activities,  problems concentrating; poor memory; difficulty making decisions; changes in eating habits; weight gain or weight loss; changes in sleeping habits; difficulty going to work or taking care of  daily responsibilities; feelings of guilt and hopelessness;  wondering if life is worth living; slowed thoughts and speech; preoccupation with thoughts of death or suicide; complaints that have no physical cause such as headache and stomachache.  As far as I know, most depression patients choose jump out of the window to suicide.

About the narrator

        From what she said in her diary (might be), I can tell her disease becomes worse. There are some clues. She takes medicine “phosphates or phosphites” which are the typical medicines for depression. The narrator could not take care of her kids by herself, she could not do housekeeping, and she also could not normal communication with his husband and other friends. She is always tired. “I cry at nothing, and cry most of the time.” She gains weight and her sleeping habit changes. At last she did have the idea of jumping out of the window. She becomes sensitive and get angry with John without any reason. Also, she feels guilty to his husband and kids. “I meant to be such a help to John, such a real rest and comfort, and here I am a comparative burden already!” Then, she turns her range into the wallpaper, actually herself. It is her feeling of guilty that makes her range. She could see sin, outrage, and other things from the wallpaper actually that because she has those feelings.  At last, she totally becomes the woman in the wallpaper. I ever think that if the author change the wallpaper to mirror that would have more incredible effect.

About her husband

Since she is the first narrator of the whole story, sometimes, I can feel her dissatisfaction with her husband. However, I would say that her husband is actually thoughtful, careful and loving her very much. In order to help her wife to recovery, he rent a beautiful house. He relieves her feeling and does whatever good to her wife. He encourages her wife to use her will and self-control to fight with the disease. “And dear John gathered me up in his arms, and just carried me upstairs and laid me on the bed, and sat by me and read to me till it tired my head.” He tells her that fancies are not good to her. The narrator knows that her husband loves her. “Dear John! He loves me very dearly, and hates to have me sick.” I am not believed what she said because it is too objective. “He said I was his darling and his comfort and all he had, and that I must take care of myself for his sake.” I can sense her husband is really care about her and hope to help her. "Your exercise depends on your strength, my dear," "and your food somewhat on your appetite; but air you can absorb all the time.” He is so gentle. That might be the reason for her guilty feelings.  

        Actually, she tried, she tried to control her fancies, but she failed at last. I understand depression is really an evil disease, and it will need a very strong will to fight with.

The Tell- Tale Heart

The story is full of mysterious and unknown. We do not know the identity of the narrator; we do not know the relationship between the narrator and the old man; we do not know the reasons for the narrator’s murdering. Then, what we know? The narrator nearly told everything happening in his mind which supposed not to be known by others. So we are lucky. We could detect some clues for the murdering case.

First, I think the story has three main parts: the reasons why he want to kill the old man; the process he performed the murder; after the murdering, his struggle in the deep heart when the policemen came.

The readers could sense that the narrator is out of mind at the very first sentence and it seems that he has two personalities. In the first sentence of the story, the narrator told the readers that he was nervous and questioned “Why will you say that I am mad”. In the whole story, nobody ever said that he was mad. It is interesting. I could tell that one of his personalities thinks that he is mad because of his odd or abnormal thoughts and behaviors. And the other personality who performs the murdering has so many reasons to kill the old man. So in his deep heart, he might know that something wrong with him, but the other one did not want to convince the fact.

In the second part, the narrator prepared for seven days to perform the murdering. He said, “You fancy me mad. Madmen know nothing but you should have seen me. How wisely I proceeded- with what caution –with what foresight -with what dissimulation I went to work. ” He was so proud of himself. However, he was not aware of the madness came from his reasons for murdering, which he took as granted. In the process of murdering, he was always fighting with himself. His fear, his nervousness, and his exciting, all came from his own mind. When he described the killing, he just said it with very lightly, normal and cold tone, said,” I cut off the head and the arms and the legs.” It seems that he does not feel nervous or fear when he did this. It is the point which let me feel crazy.

At the third part which is the climax of the whole story, the narrator’s spirit seemed broken. He could not make peace with himself like before. He admitted the murdering by himself.  I can tell that Edgar Poe is really good at conscious description. I nearly could feel the pain and the suffering of the narrator and why he has to admit the death.

A Rose for Emily

It is a really wired story. A woman poisoned his boyfriend in order to let him stay with her forever and make his dead body rotten in the bed. She just slept with the dead man for nearly 40 years. She did not socialize, she did not get out of his home, and also she even did not talk to anybody. What does make the eccentricity of Emily's behavior?  The narrator mentioned that his father, who was very strict on her, get all the boys away from Emily.  Also, his father did not have a good relationship with his sister or relatives.  When his father died, Emily did not want to admit his death.  Does his father make the miserable life for Emily?

Another question hanging in my mind is that what the Negro servant represent for. The narrator said something about the servant but not very much. We know he worked for Emily for many years since he was young. And then, he must know that Emily killed the man and what she deals with the body. Why did he accuse her or just leave? Why did he leave quietly after she died? He seems like a silent shadow in the fiction.

What does the name represent for? What does” Rose” stand for? The narrator never mentioned rose in the text. People always interpret rose in love. But Emily’s love is not the real meaning of love. The author never depicts her romantic love stories for us. Why does the author want to give Emily a “Rose”? To some extent, Emily is like a rose with thorn. Emily likes a rose that attracts people's attention but her eccentricity seems to be thorn that separates her from others.

What I learned from English 101 and about myself

        I am Ji Li. I come from China. My husband and I both are studying in USD. He is a PHD student in medical school and I want to be a RN. We have a baby Auspy, who is sixteen months old. I like reading and I read a lot before, but in Chinese not in English. I got a master degree in Chinese drama in China. I used to go to theaters to see all kinds of plays from different countries. I really enjoy it.

        The most important reason I choose this class is that I want to improve my English, strength my communication skills, and learn about American cultures. I wrote four major essays last semester, including Literacy Narrative, Review Essay, RBAA, and Literary Analysis. I learned MLA citing format, invention strategies, and logical fallacy, and etc.  I am very lucky to ace English 101. I believe I could learn more this semester. Whatever you teach, they are new and interesting to me. I am very appreciated learning from you.